Yes, it is 3:14 AM. Sleep is not something I take for granted. I have never really slept that well since I got sick back when I was 12 years old, and that is the earliest I can remember having health issues. I had chest pain and palpitations, but mostly chest pains. My doc said it was mitro-valve prolapse which gave me the joy of having to take antibiotics before any dental procedure.  I had this diagnosis until I was in my early 30's when a cardiologist cleared me. But when I really remember my sleep becoming a huge issue was after my hysterectomy. My folks and I went to the cottage so I could recover. I was up all night every night and it never got any better. When I worked and had to be up, I would literally count down the whole night. OK, if I fall asleep now I'll get 6 hours of sleep. Ok, if I fall asleep now I'll get 5 hours. All the way down till I got up. If I was lucky I may have gotten 2 hours.

In college this was great. I thrived on only 2 hours. I loved being up all night studying, pounding the diet cokes. My grandmother was a night owl and I believe most of my family on my dad's side is. I've shared how I used to love at the cottage everybody staying up reading until the wee hours. There is just something special about the night. In the hospital, my favorite time was from about 7pm till 5am. Family went home, the halls quieted down as their was only the night nurses. When they would come in they had more time to talk so you could learn a little more about them. When I was in Tampa General, my window was facing the city so once it got dark, I would stand at the window and just look at the city. It was so pretty at night as most are.

If I had my preference, I would allow my body to use it's natural biorhythms and be awake all night and then sleep during the day. I gave it a run a few years ago. I'd be up then at like 4am I'd go work out, come back in and by then my then husband was up. I'd take a nice leisurely bath, talk with him while he got ready and then when he left for work, I'd go to bed. My body loved it. But it was difficult when things needed to get done or you needed to speak with people. Also, My soon to be ex husband  HATED it. Session after session we'd argue about it. He wanted me on his schedule and I thought that was unfair.

For the most part, I tend to stay up late, but still fall asleep during the night so I can be up and productive during the day. But with my illness, my body cycles where I really have no control over what it does like now.  This will be the fifth night in a row where I have been up all night. I can't be down tomorrow though so I am going to be very tired(probably too tired to sleep)tomorrow night.  Eventually the cycle changes and I sleep all the time. It's strange. Living in my body is like being on an unpleasant amusement park ride that lasts forever. You have no idea what's around the corner. Sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry, sometimes you are scared out of your mind and others frustrated beyond belief. You don't know whether to hang on for dear life, or move around a bit to get more comfortable. The one thing it is not is boring. Thank goodness for my Boxer girl to keep me sane!