Sorry guys, another heavy one. I do not want to die. I know most people don't and we all will at sometime, but some of us are closer than others. I have been debating getting the H1N1 vaccine. I don't normally get any vaccines even the pneumonia one even though I am more susceptible to that one. I am immuno-compromised so I am eligible to get it, I just don't know if I want it. Will it effect my body differently with the sarc? Will I flare? No one knows. But more importantly how sick will I get if I get the H1N1? I could get sick enough to die. One of my docs prescribed a high dose of a simple vitamin. She didn't know that by taking that large of an amount could have thrown my disease into over-drive and it could have killed me. At the very least, made me seriously ill.
This disease that many people have never heard of could kill me and sooner rather than later. Usually being in the top 10% of something is a good thing. But not when it is the top 10% of a rare disease that can be fatal. Death is normally the last thing people want to talk about. What happens when decisions that are normally more than a passing thought with minor consequences suddenly become life and death, literally.
I don't want to die. I don't want easy questions to suddenly have serious answers. I want to go back to when not getting a flu shot simply just means that maybe I'd get the flu.
Melissa
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