I have a confession to make..........I am a decorating freak. Or I should say I was. I like to think I had taste, but every room was decorated for Christmas. Growing up, the weekend after Thanksgiving was set aside for decorating, and yes it took us those 3 days to decorate. After getting married and moving away, I set up our own similar traditions for decorating. Although as the years went by, I found myself doing more and more alone. It was never quite the same in Florida, but I made every effort to make it like those Christmases of old.
That's why I find it so hard to accept yet another thing has been robbed from me by my illness. Decorating. Now the smaller Holidays no sweat. For example yesterday was Halloween. 2 years ago I found these great pumpkin's with great faces. Now we do not need to carve anymore. I lit a bunch of candles and ate with Andy, a very nice night. After we shut down from tricker treaters, I put the Halloween things away and brought out my few Thanksgiving decorations. I am going grocery shopping tomorrow and I am looking forward to buying some mums to put in the kitchen.
I have discovered that decorating for Holidays announces to everybody, but mostly to yourself, that you are still invested in life. A few of the years I was very sick, I couldn't have cared less about decorating. Just the thought exhausted me let alone knowing it was going to have to be put away. But so far this year I am looking forward to the Holidays and I am proud of myself for the steps I have already taken. For practicalities sake, I do not decorate for Christmas like I did before. I have scaled it down to the tree, some candles, a nativity set and some of my village. Outside we do some lights and I decorate the butia palm although this year it is sick so I may not be able to. But nothing can take away that anticipation that reminds me of being a kid on Christmas morning. The Holidays have begun, have fun!!!!
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