The Dreaded Weight Issue

I have struggled with weight all my life. Even though both my parents and my grandfather on my dad's side are tall and thin, I got my grandmother's genes(which for all but the weight gene I am extremely grateful:-) ). They are shorter and stockier. I was overweight until I was 13. That summer I went to a horseback riding camp and lost all 25-30 lbs of "baby fat". I became very active in sports and activites I was able to keep it off until my freshman year of college. Ha, I laughed in the face at the freshman 15, I was going to do the freshman 30, so take that!

My junior year of college I joined an aerobics class, and found my career. Between going on a no fat diet and with the amount of exercise I was doing in addition to walking to all my classes and marching with the PSU Blue Band, the weight melted off.

I was able to keep it off during my career as a fitness expert, but when I got sick and could no longer workout at my previous level, I put quite a bit of weight on. For the most part I was able to accept it as I knew if I was healthy I would be working out and it wouldn't be a problem. On a good day I will exercise but it is almost impossible to string a bunch of good days together.

Now that I am getting divorced, I have a new perspective. Do I want to lose weight to attract men, or would I rather maintain as I am in the belief it's the inside of a person that counts. If you believe in set point theory(which I do), it's where your body has a set point. With normal activity and normal eating patterns, your body settles to a weight that is meant for you. The only way to change it effectively is through exercise. I was able to reset my set point from a size 16 to a size 2/4. Because I was SO active I literally needed about 3000 or more calories to maintain, but I did for many years. As soon as I was unable to keep it up, my set point returned to what it was before I got into exercise and I am back to a 14/16. Which is actually the mean size of an American woman(14).

So my dilemma. Do I stay where I am at or do I lose weight to get and please a man. I know, some of you are yelling at me for even asking the question, but seriously. Isn't that a gift I can give my potential husband, a sexy body? Trust me I go back and forth on this one myself. The funny thing is if I was well, I would have the body I used to have