Living in the Now

One of the things I have been trying to do is focus on the blessings in my life and to be grateful for those rather than focus on the chaos from the divorce. Between my health and the things I have to take care of, I value my free time to watch a good movie. Currently I am watching The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio with Julianne Moore(one of my favorite actresses and the only actress I was told I resembled) and Woody Harrelson. It’s about a family living in the 50’s. They have 10 children and the mother does commercial jingles to help make ends meet.  Her skills tend to follow the needs of her family. For example, they were asked to leave their rented house because the landlord wanted to give the house to his daughter as a wedding present. They had no idea what they were going to do and then the mother wins 5 grand as well as a washer and a dryer and a bike for the kids.The father,  drinks and barely brings home enough to pay the bills. He has a quiet resentment for the things she can provide that he cannot through his spending all their money on booze.

It's the next two scenes that I wanted to comment on. They decide to buy a house this time with the winnings she received. They are at the bank and the banker says the check needs signed. Which one of us the mother asks and the banker replies, you just have to be over 19. The father signs the check. But when the loan papers come out, the mother begins to take off her gloves and says that you need both our signatures. Oh no that's not necessary says the banker. Besides said the father I am the one paying the mortgage every month.

The other scene has the father drunk and still drinking while listening to a baseball game where his team is losing. At the end he loses it, screams at neighbors, kicks the table and chairs and takes a frying pan to a newly won freezer. The mother ushers the kids outside and the police and priest are called. As the mother is cleaning up the mess, the 2 cops are talking about the baseball game. They get up to leave and say he is OK and will just sleep it off. A chagrined father makes his wife a cup of tea then goes to bed. The priest arrives and goes on to tell her to work harder to make her husband happy. The fact that he buys liquor every night so that their is no money for food is blamed on her for not doing more.

My TV is lucky it doesn't have a shoe hanging out of the middle of it. Are you KIDDING me. I wrestled between feeling so angry and wanting her to stick up for herself to being in awe that she was capable of of keeping her cool.

So for today, I am grateful I am not a woman in the 50's. I can't even imagine it. Granted to them it didn't seem so bad as they lived it and worse. Even though we do not have 100% full equality, we've sure come a long way.